


Pattern - Rafael Barba

by Sherrykinss



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Summary: Finding Rafael at his usual bar after a rough day at court.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Kudos: 21





	Pattern - Rafael Barba

She walked into the bar and her eyes immediately gravitated to a familiar back, without even scanning the surroundings. She wasn’t surprised when she found Rafael sitting at the bar counter, cradling a glass of what she assumed, his usual whiskey. Even though he had called it a night, he was still sitting there with his phone in his other hand. As she slowly approached him, her eyes trailed along the curves of his slumped shoulders. It looked like the weight of the world was weighing his shoulders down. Though she couldn’t see his face, she got a sense of his mood from the way he slouched over the counter.

“Why am I not surprised?” She said, softly over his shoulder.

Hearing the close proximity of the voice, he peered up from his phone and chuckled when he realized who it was. He wasn’t surprised at all to see her. She always managed to show up when he was feeling down.

“Am I that predictable?” He asked, shifting in his seat to face her.

“You’re a man of pattern.” She stated.

He softly chuckled again. She noticed the way his eyes diverted to the floor. Her assumptions were confirmed from the way his eyes avoided hers. She felt nauseous, though she didn’t show it. The usual playful and arrogant counselor was slouched against the counter. Now, he looked too tired to even properly support his head up with his elbow.

“You don’t mind if I join you, right?” She asked, gesturing to the stool beside him.

“I’m honored to be in your company.” He playfully said and patted the seat.

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she hopped onto the stool beside him.

“What are you going to drink?” He asked.

“Actually, I’m fine.” She said.

“Oh come on, you’re going to let me drink alone?” He teased, gently nudging her with his elbow.

“I have a feeling I should be sober tonight.” She said.

He took another sip of his drink. Something in what she said or how she said it, sparked something in him. Maybe it was the liquor playing with his mind.

“I can handle myself, if you’re implying I can’t.” He stated.

“I’m not implying anything, Rafael.” She reassured him.

They fell into silence. She fiddled with her hands, to distract from the awkwardness between them. He was trying too hard to keep up with the liquor that coursed through his body, but was also preoccupied by the voices whispering of his failure in his mind. It upset her to see him like this. She knew quite well that when this happens, he would drink his worries away or until they suppressed the feeling of failure. She was worried for his well being, but she was unable to directly ask what was on his mind. Instead, she diverted to a simpler topic.

“You never fail to impress me with your many ties.” She said.

A small smile graced his lips upon her statement. “I’m glad I can still impress.” He said, then took another sip.

That was what flipped the switch for her. It was so unsettling to see his spirits so low. From what she had heard from Carmen, it didn’t seem like the case was a lost cause. It didn’t seem like him to be so down. Rafael was rarely a self-loathing man. It made her sick to her stomach to hear him say something so preposterous about himself.

“You’re beyond impressive in many areas. This isn’t like you.” She said.

His smile twisted into a bitter smile. She reached out and held his hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. Her heart ached at sight of his disheartened eyes.

“It is. If you knew everything about me, you wouldn’t be here.” He said.

He finished the remnants of his glass and waved the bartender for another round.

“No Rafi, that’s enough. Let me get you home. It’s late.” She said, looping her arm around his arm.

“I just ordered another round though.” He said, reluctant to get up, despite her arm tugging him up.

“Bartender, please close the tab for me, we’re done here.” She informed the bartender, despite Rafael’s protest.

The bartender nodded and handed over the bill. Unsurprised, she saw the amount of drinks he had ordered, prior to her showing up. She took care of it and hopped off the stool, before he could order again.

“Come on Raf, I’m taking you home.” She said, sternly.

He sighed, although he wasn’t sloppily intoxicated, he was still a handful. Her arm tightened around his arm for support when he got up. Thankfully, he was still able to walk fine, and kept the stumbling to a minimum. She hailed a taxi for them and she helped him in without much resistance.

During their ride to his apartment, she kept quiet, mostly because she had so much on her mind. In the midst of the silence, Rafael began to sober up. It didn’t mean that he still wasn’t intoxicated by the disappointments he had for himself. She had too many thoughts racing through her mind to notice that he was just as quiet. She struggled to string any of those thoughts into one cohesive thought for him to understand.

They got to his apartment and she offered to help him up, but it seemed like he was sobering up. He wasn’t stumbling as he headed into the building. She followed closely behind as he stepped onto the elevator. She wanted to walk him all the way inside his apartment, just in case anything happened.

They got to the door and he unlocked it without fumbling with his keys. She did feel much better seeing him able to smoothly get inside his apartment. Still, a part of her wanted to stay until he was in bed and asleep.

He kicked off his shoes and she followed after, feeling relieved to get out of her heels. While he was wallowing in his own disappointment, he felt guilty for dragging her into his moody night. He was fully aware of how quiet she got after they got inside the taxi. He was sure that she didn’t show up just so he could rant and ramble on over his incompetence. Now, it was evident that he had clearly upset her.

“Why are you so quiet?” He asked, as he slipped off his jacket, lazily tossing it onto the couch.

“Nothing. I’ll wait until you’re in bed to leave.” She said.

“You’re upset with me.” He said, loosening his tie.

He kept his eyes on her, watching her facial reactions. He was grateful that she stayed with him until he got home. So, he wasn’t going to let her go home without cheering her up.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” She said.

“It’s not nothing if it’s upsetting you.” He stubbornly continued, and tossed his tie aside.

“I’m… I think we should talk about it another time.” She suggested, offering a polite smile, but it didn’t fool Rafael.

“I’m not going to be able to sleep without knowing…” He insisted, starting to unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt.

She sighed defeatedly and nervously ran her fingers through her hair. She knew him too well and his stubbornness was his best and worst feat.

“Is it because you had to take me home?” He asked.

“No. Not at all. I’m not upset that I have to look after you. You know you can always count on me to be there for you.” She said.

Her lips parted to reveal the true reason, but it was like her words were stuck in her throat. Before she could register, her eyes welled up. All the emotions she was suppressing in the taxi started bubbling up. Her hands curled into a fist upon the burn in the bridge of her nose. Embarrassed by the slipping control of her feelings, her head dipped down, hoping her hair would cover her face. She just needed a moment to compose herself.

Rafael tensed up catching a glimpse of the way her eyes furiously blinked. Concerned by her reaction, he nervously slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants, unsure of what to say next. After she gathered herself, she cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

“Rafael, it’s very upsetting when you get like this. Why do you let one tiny setback define you? Why can’t you see what everyone else sees? A brilliant ADA, with an alarming number of successful cases. Don’t forget how grateful the survivors are for you.”

His fingers fidget anxiously in the pockets. Unsure of how to respond to her gracious words, he nervously and timidly would make eye contact in short intervals. He shifted uncomfortably, unaccustomed to the flattery. Compliments never really sit well with him and although he felt the sincerity in her words, he couldn’t accept them.

“God, when are you going to get it through your big head that you’re incredible and you’re contributing to the progress in the world.” She scolded him.

“You think I have a big head?” He jokingly asked.

The frustrated tears finally streamed down the corners of her eyes when she laughed. She thought it was typical that he would use humor to lighten the situation. Fortunate for him, it worked. He was relieved his joke had cracked the tension and she was smiling again.

“You’re impossible.” She shook her head at him.

He chuckled and stepped closer, reaching out to lightly wipe her tears away with the back of his hand. She defeatedly smiled at his kind gesture.

“Well?” He asked.

“Yes, you have a big head to go with your annoyingly big ego.” She said.

He dramatically gasped and feigned offense. “Here I thought you were going to continue with the flattery.” He teased.

She rolled her eyes. He had tiptoed around the situation long enough. He reached out and held her hands.

“Thank you.” He said, giving her hands a firm squeeze, hoping it would convey his appreciation for her.

She understood the warm gaze of his green eyes and nodded.

“The next time you stuck in this rump again, call me?” She suggested.

“So you can give me another scolding?” He asked.

She laughed and nodded, “Because you deserve it.”

“I know. I will.” He nodded.

“Well, I better get going. It’s pretty late.” She said.

He glanced over at the clock above his TV and nodded.

“I’ll call an uber for you. And… thank you again.” He offered and took out his phone.

“Anytime.” She smiled.


End file.
